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About Digital Art / Hobbyist Member Antonio Dello RussoMale/Italy Group :iconflygon-paradise: flygon-paradise
 
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I'm confused

Journal Entry: Tue Jan 28, 2014, 12:58 PM
Hello everyone, today I'll speak about my actual situation...

I'm confused, really much. About everything... Sexuality... My future... Myself... I feel like I don't know myself anymore... Or at least not as much as I thought...

I used to think that I would become a Computer Engineer. But now I feel like something is wrong, that maybe this isn't my way... And this is the problem, because I always thought to be an Engineer and I've never thought to something else... Now this that I thought it was a certainty, is not anymore what I really desire... But I don't know yet... what I want to do now in my life. I'm thinking to something related in a certain way to art and drawing, but I still need to find what I really want to do...

Myself... I feel like that's something wrong with me... Not because I'm wrong, but because I feel somewhat... different from the mass... and even thought I desire to be different, I also feel somewhat not considered, alone in a corner... I have no social life, apart from few friends with whom I hang out every Saturday... But, apart this, I'm always inside my room, surfing the net, or studying (until now)... I didn't mind this, but now I feel like I would meet new people, people who are like me, with similar interests, mentality and, above all, sexuality. Until now I was fine with this, but now I feel so unhappy... somewhat depressed, too... I would react, I would do this, but I'm still not sure of this, because I feel like I still don't know what I'm... I'm so incredibly undecided about myself...

And for what concern my sexuality... I suppose this is the main reason why I feel like this. I refer to myself as a demi-pansexual, able to love everyone, regardless from their gender and sex, but at the same time not able to love at first look... I hardly feel something romantic regard someone else... And I don't feel a real attraction to others... Instead, I'm really attracted by the act, whoever it is. This is what I've thought until now, because now I'm starting to have some others feelings, feelings who are completely new to me.... but I'm not sure of it... I still refer to me as a demi-pansexual, but I feel like I'm somewhat heading towards homosexuality... But I'm still not sure of this... It's only a sensation I had on this period, also because I suspect that I feel something for another guy I met in the web... but it's all confused... I'm really confused... I think I need to speak with someone who is of my same sexuality... Maybe they would help me to find myself... Maybe the fact is that I would do it, whoever it is, to prove that I'm really demi-pansexual... I need a confirm in order to be able to say who I'm... and for this, I would need someone who could love me as I'm... and maybe helping me to find myself. Of one think, btw, I'm sure: I don't feel asexual, because, even thought I usually don't feel attraction towards someone if I don't know them very well, I think I would really enjoy doing sex. A lot. Really much. And I desire it really much, right now... If only I was less shy and more opened...

I'm confused, really much, I really need someone who could help me to feel better... who could help me to find myself... who could make me accept myself, for what I'm.


  • Mood: Content
  • Listening to: Electric Funeral - Black Sabbath
  • Reading: 1984 - George Orwell

Journal History

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PlatEon's Profile Picture
PlatEon
Antonio Dello Russo
Artist | Hobbyist | Digital Art
Italy
I am shy by Krissi001 Italian by Alys-Stamps Pansexual by Moo-Photographs Pansexual Pride Stamp by lovemystarfire
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:iconkspmill:
OMGGGG so thanku for watch .W. ~~<3
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:iconplateon:
PlatEon 1 day ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're welcome dear ;)!
Reply
:iconxrinkaku:
xRinkaku Apr 10, 2014  New member Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the fav ^^
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:iconplateon:
PlatEon Apr 15, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're welcome :3!
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:iconthunder2910:
Thunder2910 Mar 31, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank-you for the fave :)
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:iconplateon:
PlatEon Apr 1, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're welcome ;)!
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:iconlisosa:
Lisosa Mar 28, 2014  New member Student Digital Artist
Grazie mille per il fav!!! x3
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:iconplateon:
PlatEon Mar 28, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ma figurati ;)!
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:iconyama-taicho1994:
Yama-Taicho1994 Mar 28, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you so much for :+fav: my Hawlucha x Spinda Drawing !
Feel free to add my friend safari code: 

4742-6652-1238
(give me yours as well)
:iconhawluchaplz: :heart: :iconspindaplz:
Reply
:iconplateon:
PlatEon Mar 28, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're welcome ;)! Hmm well, now I cannot use very much my 3DS, I'm really busy xD! Maybe I'll tell you my code later, ok ;)?
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